The Authenticity Project

 

What does that even mean? And how many of us can truly say that we are being that version of who we are, who we actually are. Isn’t it easier to hid behind a mask and never reveal who you are, not even to yourself? People will believe what they see, what you tell them.  We can all create this front, a life that looks fine on the outside but underneath can tell a very different story. We’re not being honest with ourselves. I have a problem accepting myself, after always having a sense of not being good enough, that only I put there. Fragile, afraid, unsure. Needing reassurance. Setting store by what others think of or what I think they think.  Or how I see myself, compared to others. Then that informs us on how I feel about myself, therefore not revealing who I really am. Can any of us really say that we are being the authentic version of ourselves, or is that just another mask to hide behind? We all crave that acceptance, whether it be part of a group, or of who we are, just by one other person.

 

Despite not being brave enough to show the real me, I’m fed up of apologising for who I am. I shouldn’t have to. None of us are perfect, we all come with our flaws, some more than others. But we shouldn’t change for someone else just to try and fit in. Don’t become someone you’re not. Even though more people are talking about mental health, there are so many still worried about revealing when they have a problem. Like its something to be ashamed of, will make you less of a person if you say it out loud. I get it. It takes courage that some of us just don’t have. But what makes it okay or gives people the right to judge us if we decide to speak out. We should be allowed to have a voice. Its okay not to agree with what someone is saying, but not to then abuse that person for just having an opinion.

 

Whether a celebrity or just someone like me, no-one has the right to shout you down. A year on from the death of Caroline Flack, have we learnt nothing? I don’t think so, not in a lot of ways. The #BeKind phase lasted all of 5 minutes before someone else was torn down and that’d been particularly highlighted in the last couple of weeks. We’re all human, we all feel. And we can never really know a person, especially those in the limelight, so we have no right to assume that we do. That shows with Caroline. As with most of us, she was hiding behind a mask, ashamed of the other side of herself, that she didn’t want people to see. And its okay to not want to share that. But no-one, absolutely no-one deserves to be treated so appallingly for just being who they are, in what could then result in tragic consequences. We need to judge our words carefully. None of us knows what others are going through.

 

And so, just be who you feel brave enough to be, regardless of what others think. One day may be better than the next, but we go this, we can get there, one day. Mental health is not a destination, but a process. Its about how you drive, not where you are going. And about being authentic? Well I think that depends on how you view yourself, and that changes each day, on whether you have the courage to be yourself. And its okay if you don't.

 

I see

 

Blurred Lines

An unclear path

Distorted reality

A person lost

I can’t see

 

Blue skies

The end of the rainbow

A tiny spark

Eyes opened

I’m starting to see

 

My own being

That I am enough

The storm passing

What I could be

Now I see

 

‘I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I’m meant to be. This is me’

(Credit- Title of this post inspired by a book of the same title by Clare Pooley)