Time to Talk

Today, 6 February 2020 is #TimeToTalkDay a chance to talk about Mental Health with one another. I’m passionate about mental health and talking about it, trying to break the stigma. But the last thing I want to do is for people to feel that I’m taking the piss. Talking about something I don’t really understand. I definitely don’t want that. And that’s not what this is for. I just want to use it as a way of exploring my own personal experiences, of how I deal with my own mental wellbeing, in the hope that I can make sense of things, share ideas that others may or may not find useful. From a selfish point of view, its about me. No-one else. I’m not trying to be something I’m not. But I do want to talk. About anything, about what’s important. We all have a mental health that we need to be aware of.

I know that I have a feeling, that all is not quite right, and I’ve been feeling that way for a while. It could be nothing, it could be something. I don’t know, I just feel it. I’ve been inspired as I read others stories, their sharing of experiences. The bravery of speaking out, of having a voice, for which I have much respect and admiration. Its not about a celebration, but an acknowledgement, that you can say it out loud. And books such as ‘Its Not Okay to Feel Blue’ collated by Scarlett Curtis, are doing just that, speaking to others, telling you what you didn’t know and not hiding mental health like its something to be ashamed of.

Now, I’ll be honest, today didn’t start well, with an argument with someone close to me, over something small as it usually is. But its what we didn’t say or couldn’t, that upset me most. That’s why I use this space, to put my thoughts into words, some of the feelings I struggle to say out loud, to share with anyone. I’m not good at that. I like talking, but I’m not good at talking, not about how I feel, what’s going on with me. I wish I could, but I just bottle it all up or write in my journal. I wish I could just tell someone, be more honest, but I just feel awkward. Its like I don’t know where to begin, ashamed maybe of what I might get in reply, that I won’t be understood. So this is my first attempt at trying to get over that, and taking the time to talk, by whatever means necessary, about my mental health. I hope we can all begin to take that first step.