Becoming Aware

Its Mental Health Awareness Week and I’m taking the time not only to become more aware of my own mental health and the triggers, but also of those around me. I hit a low at the weekend for the first time in a while, and I can’t seem to pull myself out of it. It’s an accumulation of a few factors such as the end of a wonderful week away. Of actually going somewhere else, seeing people and stunning scenery, and which I am now very much missing. But I know it started too because of a bad night’s sleep, mixed with alcohol. It was never going to be a good combination and only heightened my feelings about  myself. And it also showed me just how much I got out of that break and being surrounded by nature. I miss the quiet and slower pace. But we all have to come back to reality and that can be harder sometimes. I feel like I can’t even pick myself up. I have no motivation to do anything and I feel useless, worthless. It’s a struggle to do anything. But that’s the bad days and I just have to accept them and ride them through until I get to the other side. But I can only do that if I reach out to others, ask for help. Even if its just one person, letting them know how I’m feeling, then that’s a start. So that’s what I’m trying to do, say out loud to anyone who is listening, I’m struggling.

 

And just by saying that, I can feel a little of the cloud lift. I’m not alone. And I did something else too. I went outside in the garden and spent some time doing a little tidying, connecting with nature. It’s the theme of this year’s mental health week and it couldn’t be more prominent for me right now. Its what helps me to cope with my own mental health. I felt lucky last week to be completed surrounded by such beauty and the opportunity to enjoy it, go for walks and spend time in places that were different to home. It made such a difference, the peace, the quiet and the chance to really take it all in, with nothing else to worry about except enjoying each moment. Although I would say I’m also lucky to live where I go, to have green space and places to walk around me, that can’t be said for everyone. But we have to make the most of what we have, and appreciate it when we can. So that’s what I’m trying to focus on to slowly bring ‘me’ back. It would be lovely to live our lives as a continual holiday, but sadly that is not the reality. And I need to feel grateful that I am able to have the time to do these things, but there is a balance. The hour spent in the garden made me see that. I do feel slightly better having made a small achievement in my day, and connected to something else. Small and steady, and I will get there. One day at a time…

 

We all have mental health and its just as important to look after as our physical health

 

‘I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery- air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, this is what it is to be happy’ – Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

 

#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek

#ConnectWithNature