The Little Big Things

 Last week, somewhat ironically as it was mental health awareness week, I had a low point, a bad few days. And I hadn’t been there for a little while, so I guess it was coming, in one way or another.  But what picked me up was something so small, that to others it would seem stupid, irrelevant almost. But isn’t that the thing, that what helps us differs depending on who we are? I sat and watched a couple of my favourite tv shows and just seeing them, listening to what they were saying made me think. I’ve been struggling for a while in terms of trying to motivate myself at work, but my fear and continuous rejections in my quest to find something else have only made me feel worse. And coming back from a holiday is always hard anyway. But I knew that I needed to find that small shift in my mindset to at least try and get back on track. So I set myself up as if I was going into the office, instead of still working from home (which has definitely lost some of its appeal now after such a long time), packing my bag ready for the next day. And do you know what, it worked. Something so small and silly, but it helped. And that’s what made me realise something, that sometimes it can really be the smallest change or goal, or even something that happens to you that can have the biggest impact on how you feel.

 

Following what has been a difficult fourteen months for us all, I’m trying to adjust to a slightly different way of being. But its also made me see thing differently. The little big things, as Henry Fraser helped me to take notice of.  The re-evaluating of what is important to me and what helps me get through each day. For me its finding time to read a good book or feeling the sun on my face when I go for a walk, or working on a crafting project, singing loudly to a favourite song. But one of the most important has to be being able to see my family and friends again, to spend time with people. Whilst some people have craved going shopping or the chance to eat and drink out, I have realised what things I haven’t really missed, and whilst the odd occasion might be nice, I would prefer to have it as just that. It makes you appreciate the moments more, makes then feel more special in a way. So as we move into another step in the roadmap, I will be moving at my own pace and only doing things as and when I feel comfortable in doing so. I felt lucky to finally be able to go and have my first Covid-19 vaccination the other day, even a little excited after what has felt like a long wait since the rollout began. I never thought I’d say that about something involving a needle as well as the unknown regarding the side effects that I could have, but there it is. It’s a sense of relief and gratefulness, of hope for the future. Another relatively small thing to some, but with a huge impact to my mental wellbeing.

 

I just wanted to share the things that have helped me, in the hope that they can do the same for others. We’re all different in how we cope with what life throws at us and what can help pull us back from our bad place. I know it might seem little to some, but I know when I’m at a low, even it doesn’t match up to what others may be going through. I can admit that something isn’t right, even if I haven’t been diagnosed. Don’t we all at least know ourselves, especially at these moments? But I’m going to keep working on me, using those small things to keep me going, to give me that shift in mindset, and maybe one day I’ll get there.

 

‘Keep on keeping on’