The Start of a New Chapter

Its been a while since I last wrote a post and its been a busy yet good time. As we start another new year, I wanted to take some time to reflect over the last couple of months as well as 2021 in general. It’s a cliché I know, but I feel like it’s a good way of also moving forwards.  

Looking back on some of my posts, many were talking about how my job made me feel and the fear of leaving and trying something else. So it does feel good to say that I’ve made a change! After nearly 10 years at the University, I finally got offered a new role from one of the vacancies I applied for. And guess what, its somewhere completely different! I finally found that courage and took a leap of faith. Its still early days, but it felt good to end the year on a more positive note, especially when so many other things are still so uncertain.  I started the new job at the beginning of December so its been busy with the flurry of Christmas and all that that can bring. But surprisingly I’ve felt good, even if a little scared. But I’m determined to keep moving forward. Its taken a long time to get to this point, but it’s a good start and I can keep building on that. Its been a little overwhelming, but as things become easier to understand and I can get into a routine, and keep learning, I think I’ll be okay. Is it my forever job? I don’t know that yet, but is there even such a thing? Each role we do can only help build us up to become who we want to be.

And getting this new job came at a time when I needed it for my own wellbeing. I felt like I was at some kind of breaking point, where I was struggling, and now I’m actually ready to go back tomorrow after the Christmas break and carry on learning, seeing what each day will bring. Plus the shorter commute also helps! Like I said its still early days, but it’s a change that was much needed. Only I can make it work for me. I’m building myself back up piece by piece, much as we are all doing right now.

Whilst I feel somewhat lucky to have not lost anyone close to me to the dreaded Covid, we did lose a family member this time last year, but I’m aware that its been an even more difficult time for so many since this awful pandemic began, which shows no signs of disappearing any time soon. But if its taught me anything, its to be more grateful  for what I have got and to try and get over my fear of doing things, even if its taken me a while to get there. And I made some good memories in 2021, so I want to keep doing that. We need to continue celebrating the small wins, however insignificant they may feel. Life is not a competition or a race, but something to be enjoyed and cherished, in whatever way possible.

 I used to begin the year by making all sorts of resolutions, but it just added too much pressure to maintain what  I thought I should be doing. So, last year instead I made a series of statements, things to work on such as being braver, more creative and moving more. And I do feel like I worked on them, sometimes without even realising. So I’ll continue to do that, building on what I did in 2021, but without the added pressure. I’m proud of the small wins for myself, of what I achieved. And that’s all we can do. Embrace the good days and get through the bad ones, willing ourselves to come out the other side. To keep hoping that things will get better. 

But for now, I’ve opened that book at chapter 1, and I’m just going to see what the next few pages bring.

Note to Self - ‘You are capable of amazing things’

‘First, think. Second, dream. Third, believe. And finally, dare.’  (Walt Disney) - because we all need a sprinkle of magic to start the year off right!